Be My List

I'm much too competitive for my own good.
It can cause problems quite often.

I want to keep everything for myself.  I want to win everything, have everything, have all the attention, and enjoy all the perks.  I'm so obsessed with myself.  My eyes are so off-focus.  The LORD is the one who deserves my attention.  Not guys.  Not friends.  Not work.  Not my family.  Not my swimmers.  Not my chores.  Not my beauty.  Not my concerns.  Not my competition.  Not my life at all.  Everything comes along with looking to the Lord.  I shouldn't have prioritIES.  I have ONE priority, and His name is Adonai.  All the other things in life that are important for life on this earth will come along with my attention to Him.  Seek Ye FIRST the Kingdom of God!
I don't want to have a list; I want you to BE my list, Father.

 I can't keep owning everything.  What the Lord gave me is His always because I gave it back to Him.  I need to make a daily sacrifice to give everything to Him.

Bless my heart, Father.

*picture taken by: U.S. National Archives*

Music Therapy

Music therapy is a very cool thing.
Some who can't talk can sing.
Some who can't see can play.
Some who can't hear can write and create.

Sometimes a stroke victim who has lost his or her speaking ability can sing, or can be coached to speak through singing.
There is an incredible woman percussionist who can't hear, but can feel the sound.
Many who can't see a thing can play the piano or guitar etc. incredibly well because they have a more acute sense of hearing.

Seriously, check it out at this website its so cool.

*picture taken by: Maggy Beunaventura*

Thick Skin is Like Armor

Thick skin is like armor.  You shouldn't wear it if you're not in battle.

Thick skin can be a good thing when it comes to protecting yourself and keeping your heart and mind and spirit pure.  But if someone was to wear that armor all the time then they would never see or experience the world in the way God intended.  A suit of metal would never allow a person to feel the tenderness of the touch of someone who loves them, be it the man of woman they love or their family or friends or the Lord.
You should never guard yourself from the man or woman who loves you. Why would you want to miss out on the tenderness of his or her fingers on your cheek and the yearning of his or her heart and the tear falling over his or her cheek for the love and desperation that he or she feels for you?  That is love.  Love is not scary, and it does not call for any defenses.  Love is the absence of defenses.  Love is beautiful.  Love is only scary if you let it scare you or if you let yourself believe that this person will fall out of love with you or if you never let yourself love back because you don't want to be hurt again.  If someone loves you they will not take a sword up against you, they will take up tenderness and affection.  They take up a desire in their spirit to strive for something better along side you.
The Lord will most likely speak to you with a tender voice or a gentle whisper, not a loud booming voice.  You must let your heart be permeable to Him.  You can't keep it locked "safely" behind iron doors.  You must open yourself.  Be receptive to Him.  Yes "Above all else guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" (Proverbs 4:23), but in Phillipians 4:7 it says that "the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  You never guard your heart FROM Christ, you always guard it IN Christ.  He will always protect it.  The best place to leave it is with Him.

Thick skin is a good thing when you are in battle.  Put on your thick skin when you are up against the devil, but just keep in mind that the only way you have effective armor is in the Lord and through His Word.  Keep your thick skin God-centered.  "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." Galatians 5:22-23a.  That is the only "thick skin" or armor that will stand up against an attack from the devil, the defenses you yourself can come up with will only fail.  And not only will they fail, but the devil will convince you that you didn't fail.

Its funny how I write so much and yet everything ALWAYS comes back to keeping your eyes fixed on the Lord. "But my eyes are fixed on you, O Sovereign Lord; in you I take refuge -- do not give me over to death." Psalm 141:8.

*picture taken by: marfis75*

I Was Drowning

What makes me better than anyone else?
Yes, I'm saved.
Yes, I know I'll be going to heaven when I die.
Yes, I have a heavenly Father who loves me and is powerful above all things.
Yes, I have been changed by the Holy Spirit.
But what does ANY of that have to do with what I have done?
I was dead, already done and drowned at the bottom of the ocean.  The Lord pulled me up, revived me, and gave me a life better than the one I had before.  The only reason that can happen is because of who the Lord is.  I did absolutely nothing to deserve it, in fact, I did everything to deserve the exact opposite.

Who am I to think I am any better than people because of my Lord?  That is giving Him a bad name.  I am no better than anyone else.  I'm probably worse.

I'm sorry for looking down on the people you've created, Lord.  I'm sorry for ever thinking that I am good enough to do anything for myself.  You are my source of life, the only reason I can breathe.  You give me the strength I need to open my eyes every morning and get out of bed.  You heal my heart, and you refill it when someone has broken it and spilled everything out.  You have taken all of my filth away.  You took it and put it on yourself.  You have made me perfect in your eyes.  None of this is from myself.  Everything I am is because of who you are IN me.

I am so unworthy of Your name. Christian.

*picture taken by: alibubba*

"P" Day

Mmm. I'm having a day with mom. :) Its wonderful. Preschoolers, Panera Bread, and picking up the now-fixed car.

They all start with "p."

Its a "p" day.

Class of 2010

Graduation. Wow.
Its so crazy how fast people grow up.  People I knew when they were in 2nd grade are now graduating from high school going on to college.
Anytime I think about how everyone is growing up and going off to build their lives I think about how fast everything in my life has gone by.  Its crazy that my high school graduation was 2 years ago, but it feels so recently.  Even my first day of high school and moving to North Carolina seem so recent.  The last few years have gone by so quickly.  "Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow.  You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away." --James 4:14.

I was so glad to be able to celebrate with my friends, and I can't wait to spend the summer with them.

Congratulations to you Daryl, Rebecca, Katherine, Courtney, Rachel, and Anna.  You are incredible girls and I can't wait to see where the Lord leads you in life.


*picture taken by: Lowry Lou*

Speak Up!

Most people do not enjoy when others are outspoken. No matter what it is.

I would say that my views in the world would make me a conservative. I think that the world should be taken care of, but I don't devote my every moment to saving it. I am also a devoted daughter of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Now it is expected that I would not love the moments when a view that I disagree with is being declared proudly in my presence, but even when someone is too outspoken about views I do agree with, I'm a little bit annoyed at that. When someone is entirely consumed with saving the world one tree at a time, or go green, think green, act green (whatever it might be) I want to say something. The saddest thing of all is that even when someone is too outspoken about their faith, it bothers me. How horrible am I? I should be cheering them on.

I think the reason that I get so miffed at moments like this is that I can't be that way myself. I wish I was outgoing and outspoken about my faith and my views, but it's hard for me and I don't do it. So when someone else comes along and is very outspoken, I react by being annoyed because that is the easiest way for me to deal with my jealousy.

I can't fault others for speaking up about what they believe in. I can be proud of the ones who do speak up, and I can speak up on my own behalf.

*picture taken by: Little Miss Sunshine*