On or Off

Disclaimer: I am about to sound very stuck-up, very conceited, and extremely self-righteous.

But sometimes I just wish people would quit acting like they love Jesus sometimes. Either get on or off the Jesus wagon. Don't dangle your feet off the back, or run along side, or come find it when you run out of supplies, or hop with one foot off and one foot on. I know I'm not perfect, and I know I mess up constantly, so maybe I'm talking as much to myself as anyone else, but I really want people to just be with Jesus or not.

Yeah, that sounded just as self-righteous as I expected it too. :( Sorry.

Good Outweighs the Bad

Here are some words that describe my heart:

- Delighted

- Joyful

- Love

- Satisfied

- Filled

- Overflowing!

- Relieved

and yet

- Sorry

- Regretful

The good outweighs the bad. Some might call my day not so great. I'd say judging by the way my heart feels at the moment... it was a good day.

They're Colorful

There are some words in my head that want to come out. But they aren't really words, just feelings or pictures. But I can't really see the pictures very well. There we go, there are some blurry pictures in my head that want to be words, but I can't interpret them quite yet. I know they're colorful and there's more than one. Maybe two or three pictures. They're beautiful I'm sure. I'll let you know when I can see them clearly.

All I know right now is God is good and great and wonderful and incredible. And He loves me, for some odd reason.

Praise the Lord.

Love is Patient... Who Knew?

I've learned more in the past few months about loving people and caring for them than I've learned in the span of my entire life. I've learned how to care about someone when thats the last thing I want to do. I've learned how to be selfless in the love and care that I show someone. I've learned how to put up with their mistakes because "love is patient." I've learned how to love like Christ by not minding when someone does something wrong. I've realized that if its hard for me to remain patient and loving through all of this, then I can't imagine how Christ felt when people treated him so badly and took advantage of the fact that he loved them, and how God feels when I do something wrong, ask for forgiveness, and then just do it all over again. He doesn't even experience that with just one person, he experiences it with billions.

Forgive me Father for hurting you every time I lie, steal, cheat, hurt someone, curse you, am unfaithful, and for all the other uncountable ways I hurt you. I don't know how to be perfect and I am clueless as to how to please you in every way. Show me, Lord.

Sometimes.

Sometimes I let my guard down. Sometimes I regret it. Sometimes I keep my guard up. Sometimes I regret it.

Life is confusing.

Little Girl

I am such a silly girl.

Lord, don't let me be such a silly little girl all the time.

You

People make mistakes

They fail you more and you can hardly take

The inconsistency that they provide

But I have someone else who is better

When no one is there, you surround me.

When I need someone to cry on, you are sitting right beside me

And my prayers always reach to your ears

You say, daughter, i am pleased, i am here.

Back.

And so here we are. Back at school. I am so glad to be back. I missed this place. Its my second home. I'm looking forward to classes and friends and Young Life.

This going to be an educational semester, in every sense of the word and in every aspect of life. I'm going to have a hard time. Its ok to spontaneously cry, right?

I was born without a body...

My name is Billy Evans.

I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I can't. She is crying. The reason she is so sad is because I'm so sick. I was born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when I try to breathe.The doctors gave me an artificial body. It is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of us having no money or insurance.I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy doesn't work because she said nobody hires crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap bag. Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap and it makes her sneeze and chafes her real bad.

I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this email to everyone you know.

Forward it to people you don't know, too. Dr. Johansen said that for every person you forward this email to, Bill Gates will team up with Disney World and send a nickel to NASA. With that funding, NASA will collect prayers from school children all over America and have the astronauts take them up into space so that the angels can hear them better. Then they will come back to earth and go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send all the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me get better then.Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Right now I can only be third base.

Every time you forward this letter, the astronauts can take more prayers to the angels and my dream will be closer to coming true. Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10.

If you don't forward this email, that's okay. Mommy says you're a mean and heartless bastard who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that if you don't stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die a long slow horrible death and then burn forever in hell. What kind of cruel person are you that you can't take five freakin' minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame about ignoring a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?

Please help me. I try to be happy, but it's hard. I wish I had a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty that wouldn't chew on me and try to bury its turds in the leaves of my burlap body. I wish that very much.

Thank You, Billy "Smiley" Evans

Oh God, Thank you for Being God!

God is so good.

I mess up.

He uses me.

Despite my blatant disregard to his obvious will for my life.

I do not deserve to have a Father like that.

Your strength, my wonderful Savior Jesus, is made perfect in my weakness.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 2:9-10

Praise the Lord.