Sunday, September 1, 2013

Quality, Not Quantity

I tend to hide behind things.  I will hide behind my friends or behind my grades or my family.  This summer I was hiding behind good-looking worship.  I really did worship.  I really love my God, and I really want to jump and dance for Him.  My worship wasn't fake, but my relationship with God did not run deep.  I wasn't investing time into getting to know Him.  I wasn't spending quality time with him everyday. I was spending a few minutes reading over my little devotion and then running off to go to work without even stopping to pray.  I was fine with my lack of relationship because my worship during services looked good.   Now I'm in a new place, and I'm much more vulnerable here and I can see my heart more clearly.  I have no longing.  I have no deep desire for my Lord.  I want one.  I desire to be filled with great longing, but I don't have it.  I want a good conversation during my quiet time, not a study time on the bible.  Knowledge is great, and it is very important, but knowledge of the word of God without a relationship with the Author is futile.

I need You, Father!  I need to know my dependency, and I want to be filled with desire for You.  Give me a new heart.  Mine is old and hard.  I need a new one.  I need Yours.  Give me Your heart, Father.  Give me the heart of Jesus.