Thursday, March 25, 2010

God thought of it all first

People credit other people for the beauty of man-made landscapes. They credit architects for the beauty of an intricate building. People credit others for creating paintings and writing music.

We wouldn't even consider having ideas like that had it not been for the incredible creation that the Lord gave us.

Landscaping: God made the first lake, and the first tree, and the first bush, and the first blade of grass, and the first flower. No man could create a flower or a tree and I would like to see someone think to dig a big huge hole in the ground and put water in it.

Buildings: God made the first mountain. He formed every rock wall and tall structure on the earth. He put rocks on top of each other where no man would ever think to put them. He is the original architect.

Paintings: You think your pretty little picture of your mom is good? You think a nice picture of something artistic looking is beautiful? You think your oil painting of the mountains is eye-catching? God paints the sky every night and every morning. And there has to yet to be a morning sunrise or evening sunset that I've seen that hasn't taken me aback and demanded my full attention if only for a moment. Every single time I see a sunset or sunrise I must mention it to someone else. I must share the incredible beauty that God has provided for me.

Music: It almost makes me laugh to think about music and how obvious it is that God created it first. God had already created everything about music, we were just figuring it out! Not only did he make the bird and every part of its insides and outside, but he created for the bird a song. And not only did he create a song for the birds, each bird has a different song! And the songs interact to make an even bigger song. And oh how gorgeous it all sounds together. Who has been able to compose something like the songs of the birds that, although it is played every single morning, will never get old or boring. Hearing the birds in the morning will, without fail, make me smile. Oh God, how you've blessed us.

Why? We are so unworthy of the sound of your precious name.

Saturday, March 20, 2010


Warning: What you are about to read is confusing, jumbled, and random. Read at your own risk.

The other day I looked in the mirror and thought, "I look better WITHOUT my makeup."
I never thought I'd be at this point.

I'm dumb. I've been messing up a lot. I'm sorry. I feel ashamed even addressing you. I am not worthy to speak your name. But despite my stupidity and shame you've blessed me with the knowledge that I AM beautiful without altering my face. I am beautiful because of who you made me to be and because you shine through me.
I'm so privileged and honored that you chose me to shine through. Please help me. I'm so so horrible and so so not worthy of You.
I can't believe you've chosen me. I honestly have no idea why. I'm so incapable. I'm so disobedient. I'm so sinful. I'm so dumb. I'm so human. You could do all of this yourself, but you let us help out. You give us the blessing of being in a relationship with you and getting to do your work here on earth.
What a blessing, Lord!
Forgive me. Take away my shame. Lift my eyes. Get my head out of this world and into your Spirit. You are a wonderful, loving, omnipotent, perfect, beautiful Father. Oh, God, thank you!

Saturday, March 6, 2010

One of those days.

Today is just one of those days. I've only been awake for about 40 minutes (it was a long and tiring week) and I'm already in a bad mood. I shouldn't feel this way. Its so stupid of me. Its so dumb that something so simple, and so (most likely) innocent would make me this way.

God, where are you? I don't understand why this is happening. I did everything right! I was faithful to you first. What happened?

My heart hurts. I feel like it does that a lot. I don't really like it.