I tend to hide behind things. I will hide behind my friends or behind my grades or my family. This summer I was hiding behind good-looking worship. I really did worship. I really love my God, and I really want to jump and dance for Him. My worship wasn't fake, but my relationship with God did not run deep. I wasn't investing time into getting to know Him. I wasn't spending quality time with him everyday. I was spending a few minutes reading over my little devotion and then running off to go to work without even stopping to pray. I was fine with my lack of relationship because my worship during services looked good. Now I'm in a new place, and I'm much more vulnerable here and I can see my heart more clearly. I have no longing. I have no deep desire for my Lord. I want one. I desire to be filled with great longing, but I don't have it. I want a good conversation during my quiet time, not a study time on the bible. Knowledge is great, and it is very important, but knowledge of the word of God without a relationship with the Author is futile.
I need You, Father! I need to know my dependency, and I want to be filled with desire for You. Give me a new heart. Mine is old and hard. I need a new one. I need Yours. Give me Your heart, Father. Give me the heart of Jesus.