It’s just about impossible for me to imagine how my life got this far from where it was just 3 months ago. I was so determined. So set in how everything would work. I was following the Lord. I was caught up in his plan for my life. I was passionate about letting him work in my life and letting him set my path instead of taking over and steering things my way. I failed. I wanted to be in so much of a different place right now. I guess I relied too much on myself. I got so determined that I didn’t even think I needed God’s help. I even remember, at one pivotal time, hearing him say something to me. It was so clear what he wanted me to do. Instead I stayed still because it was the easy thing to do. It would be more difficult to get up and do what he wanted me to do, so I just sat there. I let my life get this way. I put my heart in this situation and condition. How could I be so stupid? How could I be such a hypocrite, Father? I’m sorry for failing you time and time again. I’m sorry for not doing something hard sooner. A friend once told me that a good motto to have in life is simply, “Do hard things.” It’s true. Most of the right things are harder. Most things that are holy and good and godly are hard and seem like the opposite of everyone else because we live in the world and the world leads us down the easy, wide, and sinful path. God leads us on the narrow, godly, sometimes difficult path.
Life is a steep mountain. We are the climbers. Heaven is the beautiful, breath-taking mountain top.