For those of you who don't know, I'm involved in a ministry called Young Life. I love it, every moment. And yet, I hate it, every moment. I love my kids, they make me smile, and getting to see them grow in the Lord is the most incredible thing I can think of. I love my kids, they make me angry, and it breaks my heart to see them make stupid mistakes because they are too scared to stand out. I love when one of my kids just understands what this whole "Christian" thing is about, but that seems so rare. I invest in them, and I pour into them, but they still don't get it. They don't understand what is so crazy and awesome and incredible about this story they are hearing. Sometimes I just want to say, "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?! YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!! EVERYTHING YOU HAVE, EVERY BREATH, EVERY MOVE, EVERY ABILITY, EVERY MOMENT, EVERY FRIEND, EVERY FAMILY MEMBER, EVERY HAIR ON YOUR HEAD, EVERY DAY YOU WAKE UP AND OPEN YOUR EYES AND TAKE A BREATH IS BECAUSE OF THE INCREDIBLE, INSANE, CRAZY, AND SOOOO UNDESERVED MERCY OF THIS INDESCRIBABLE GOD!! EVERY SUFFERING, EVERY TRIAL, EVERY TEMPTATION, EVERY HEARTACHE, EVERY LOSS, EVERY TEAR, EVERY SICKNESS, EVERY SADNESS, EVERY TIME YOU FEEL LIKE YOU CAN'T EVEN MAKE IT THROUGH THE DAY... THAT'S HIS MERCY TOO!! HE LETS US HAVE THIS LIFE. HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE SO GREAT, AND NEITHER DO I. HE LOVES YOU BECAUSE HE JUST DOES. And I love you because He does." It breaks me everytime I think about them and how they just don't get it.
I heard one of my kids say once, "I thought Christians just kind of looked the same as everyone else, we just believed in God." No. You cannot be immersed in the love of an all-powerful God and be covered in His son's glory and perfection and look the same. Does that sound the same to you? I love them. Everyone of them.
I just hope they understand why.
I understand your ache for your kids very well for I share the very same burden for my girls. Just know you are making a larger impact on their lives than you realize--keep up the good work! You might be your kids only chance to see Christ.
ReplyDeleteMy area director encouraged us with an awesome quote: "Young Life is far more than the ordinary youth movement. Not only do we earn a hearing among the most difficult and hardest to reach, but after reaching them we stay with them, as a true missionary should. The winning and establishing a soul for Jesus Christ cannot be done on a hit-and-run-basis." -Jim Rayburn
I thought that was awesome. Keep running towards Jesus and your kids will follow, in one way or another. I'm praying for you and your ministry, Katie! Love you.