Tuesday, April 21, 2009


I feel like its fading.
I call myself a Christian. I call myself a teacher. I call myself a leader.
Am I?
Do I really care about this thing that I call my faith?
Where did all of that passion go?
Why do I have more hard times that good times in my relationship with Christ?
Why do I feel like everything I do is fake?
Why do I feel like he is so far away?
Why isn't He the first solution that pops into my head?
Why can't I truly believe in the power of prayer?
Where did He go?
Why doesn't He feel close to me anymore?
Why don't I have a desire for His word?
Why can't I see Him in everyday things?
Why am I so consumed in earthly things?
What is right for me?
Where is He taking me?
Am I really listening to Him?
Am I making up my own plans?
How do I know whether my plans are my own or His own?
Why can't I be radical?
Why can't I take chances?
Why am I scared?

Jesus died the most horrific death in history. The process of crucifixion was developed from the science of killing people in painful and grueling ways. He died this death, and took my sins on his back because he loves me more than anyone else in all of eternity. Picture two people. One is spotless and clean, the other is covered in cow manure. The clean man takes all of the cow manure off of the man and then puts it on his own body. Another man is waiting to take one of these two men into his beautiful mansion. The formerly dirty man, now clean because of the originally clean, is spotless. The now clean man gets to go into the house.

Jesus is not kept outside of heaven, but we (the originally dirty man) are full of sin. Because Christ scraped every little blemish off of us we get to have a home in God's mansion.

Grace such as this should not be taken lightly.
That is why I have to be radical.
That is why I must take chances.
That is why I cannot be afraid.
*picture taken by: Amanky*


  1. I feel this way too sometimes, and I think to feel this way is exactly how we are supposed to feel! If we thought we had it all figured out...I be worried. It's proof that God wants His Spirit to keep growing in us. :) You're not the first person to ask these questions...and certainly wont be the last. Just remember, being radical only works with Jesus at our center and in us. WOO!

  2. This is so encouraging, Katie! It's not often that I even take two seconds to recognize what Jesus did for me on the cross. I can't be apathetic, I can't be content, I need to learn to be more radical and passionate about the most beautiful thing that this world will ever know! You have such a wonderful heart. I'll be striving with you to love Jesus more!