Thursday, April 2, 2009


There are so many situations in my life recently that have two sides.  I learned about this in psychology. I can't remember what it is called, but it is something like there are two situations and there are things in each that pull you toward them.  I can think of two certain current situations in which I feel like I'm being pulled back and forth, back and forth.  I cannot stop it.  This morning I woke up and discovered that my doorknob was tied to the doorknob of my "across the hall" neighbor.  Thats how I feel, but this time I'm stuck in the middle.  I pull on both strings, but I cannot bring myself to cut either side.  If one side is cut, I can't go back there.  I'll never have this choice again.  I'll have to deal with the decision I made for a very long time, if not forever.  I can't do this.  I cannot deal with being stuck.  I am the kind of person who would LOVE to jump in head first, but I can never bring myself to do so.  I am not daring enough.  I am not radical enough.  (That is a problem in every area of my life.  I need to be more radical just in general.)  I want to understand the situations I'm in.  I want to understand why this is happening.  I want to understand what I can do.  I want to do better.

I'm so stuck.

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