There are so many situations in my life recently that have two sides. I learned about this in psychology. I can't remember what it is called, but it is something like there are two situations and there are things in each that pull you toward them. I can think of two certain current situations in which I feel like I'm being pulled back and forth, back and forth. I cannot stop it. This morning I woke up and discovered that my doorknob was tied to the doorknob of my "across the hall" neighbor. Thats how I feel, but this time I'm stuck in the middle. I pull on both strings, but I cannot bring myself to cut either side. If one side is cut, I can't go back there. I'll never have this choice again. I'll have to deal with the decision I made for a very long time, if not forever. I can't do this. I cannot deal with being stuck. I am the kind of person who would LOVE to jump in head first, but I can never bring myself to do so. I am not daring enough. I am not radical enough. (That is a problem in every area of my life. I need to be more radical just in general.) I want to understand the situations I'm in. I want to understand why this is happening. I want to understand what I can do. I want to do better.
I'm so stuck.