There were a lot of things I would have enjoyed doing with my night. I could have watched a movie. Had an encouraging conversation with a friend. Told someone I love them. Given someone a hug. Been held by loving arms. Spent time praising the Lord through conversation. Eaten a delicious snack. Caught fireflies. Walked in the moonlight. Cried tears of joy. Called an old friend. Spent time in the word of the Lord. Drank coffee. Played the guitar. Sung a song. Showed someone how much I love them. And although I did do some of these. What is prevalent on my mind tonight is that I hurt someone. I hate hurting people. I'd rather be hurt than hurt someone. Its so much easier. I hate all of it... the look in someone's eyes after I've told them what I needed to say, the way they can't say anything in response because nothing they say will change the circumstances, the way there is nothing to do but sit in silence, the way their day seems ruined because of my news. The way we're both so desperate to go back to the way it was 24 hours ago. There are few times when I've missed yesterday so much. I want you back, yesterday. Help me, Father, to see that through this mess, and my mistakes, and through my hurt that you will heal me and make me stronger. I pray that I will see where you are taking me.
Lead me, Father, and I (sure hope I) will follow.
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