I used to do this all the time. I used to see beauty in everything. I used to be happier. I used to love better. I feel hardened. Like my heart is not as easily penetrated as it used to be. I want to be back at that place where every moment wasn't a moment to dread, it wasn't a moment to try and get through. It was another great opportunity to worship this Father of mine. Another wonderful chance to see Him through his creation. Another blessed time to experience his love in one way or another. I used to see such beauty in everyday things. I loved the sound of the train rushing by. I loved the wind through the trees and the sun on my face. I absolutely adored just sitting here in my spot with my computer and a snack, having just finished my work. Writing was easy. Words flowed. Not from my head. They came from my heart, they came from the Lord. I keep saying that I want to be that way again, and I know I can. I just don't like the path I have to take to get there.
Help me take a leap for you, Father. Who better to put my faith in than you? Help me to see how foolish I am for being scared.
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