Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Stuck in a Maze

I have been holding it in for so long. It has all been bottled up inside of me. Its like when you climb a mountain and your ears pop, and your head feels like it is ready to explode. Its like when you fill a balloon up with water so much that one more drop will cause all the water to come gushing out. Its like when, at Build-a-Bear, the bear is so full of stuffing that its eye looks like its about to pop off. All this tension builds up inside of me and all I want is to let it out. I don't know how to let it out. I have nothing to be mad about, nothing to be sad about. I have no reason to cry, but thats all I want to do. I have no grounds on which to be angry at anything or anyone. I just want to scream, or cry, or laugh my heart out, or fall flat on my face in front of the Lord. Nothing is working! Nothing relieves me! I tried crying, I'm still confused. I tried being mad, I still feel anguish. I even tried laying everything down before the Lord, but even that I feel as though I have failed. What am I supposed to do? There is no other way. There isn't even a reason as to why I'm feeling this way. I can't figure it out! I can't get through this maze in my head. There seems to be no escape! Help me Father, that's all I want. I want you to be here beside me, carrying me through all of this. I need you. I have nothing else right now. No one else knows my feelings, no one else understands what I'm going through. But you do, Father.

Let me out! I'm trapped!

1 comment:

  1. God knows your thought, feelings, because God is The One who makes you since the beginning.

    James Bourne