Tuesday, December 16, 2008

A Whirlwind

I just miss Him. It seems like its been forever since I've felt His presence or experienced the warmth of being wrapped in His arms. I feels like an eternity since the last time I had a good talk with Him or just let Him catch me as I fall. I keep trying to let other things satisfy that presence. I try to feel warm by other earthly arms. I attempt to bear my heart to others in hopes that it will satisfy my need for closure in situations. I continue trying to catch myself, but I just keep hitting the ground. I know I need to throw it all away and look to Him, but when I do that it never seems to work. Is my heart not genuine enough? Do I not truly desire this? Am I really talking to you, Lord? Am I denying you? What in the world is going on? I'm in a whirlwind of thoughts, words, people, feelings, situations. I can't get a hold on one single thing. I just want to fall over. I'm sick of all this. There is so much I'm holding on to, and I don't have the strength to let go! I need your help. I cannot do this on my own.

I miss You.

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