But now, I want to say something concrete. This evening I had no idea what I wanted to talk about in this blog, I was just going to skip tonight. But I wanted to write, and my dearest steph said something that absolutely amazed me:
When I can't think of anything to write about "i say that the words that once filled my head and the thoughts that usually clutter my mind have vanished and all thats there are the words of Christ. I love having no thoughts at all cause that gives all the room for Christ to consume your mind and heart."
I want the Lord to just talk through me, to "give me words to speak" (as Aaron Shust would say). I want to be used by Him! I want His voice to boom over mine, that no one would ever hear me. I want to be invisible. I want people who see me, to see HIM in me. Only him. I want to become nothing. I want to be swallowed up and engulfed by his unconditional love, undending glory, infinite mercy, indescribable righteousness, unfathomable kindness, blinding greatness, beautiful grace, wonderous light, incredible graciousness, and everything else. God is unending. I can not describe him. He is everything. And God, the everything, the creator, the King of the UNIVERSE, the Lord of lords. God created the universe. God also created your pinky finger, your 38256th strand of hair, each and every cell in your body, he hand-picked the genes that would become yours. He has known since all of eternity that you would be born on your birthday, at a certain time, in a certain place, by a certain person. He also knew that on September 16, 2008 I would be writing this at 1:18 am. He has known all of this since... eternity.
He's bigger than we think.