Sunday, September 21, 2008

Where did it go?

I miss the flow of the words. The ideas coming to mind. The way my fingers just keep going and going, typing words that can't stop popping into my head. The last week or so I haven't written one blog that wasn't hard to write. I kept having to think of things, and had to work on what I was going to say. For the first while, the ideas just came. I went with it.

I miss writing. I miss not having to work on my thoughts. Not having to pick and choose each word. I miss when the words were easy to come by, they looked like a beautiful picture, smelled of fresh morning, and had the power of a waterfall. They were there, in my head, just waiting to escape onto paper. I would read my blogs again and again and still be mezmorized by them. By how God had put these ideas in my head and had given me the inspiration to write them down.

I want that back. I want the feeling of easiness in my writing. Like the kind of easiness that comes when lounging on a porch swing with a warm blanket and a good book. The kind of easiness that comes when walking and talking with a friend and feeling like there is no one else on earth that matters at that moment. The kind of easiness I feel when I'm around my family, my beautiful and incredibly inspiring friends from home, my amazing new friends I've found here, and when I'm spending time with my Lord and Savior. The kind of easiness and comfort I feel sitting on my own couch, with my own family. The easiness that comes with a christmas tree, the aroma of pine and christmas cookies, ribbons, presents, cold weather, and good food. The easiness that I feel when I'm around a table with my aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents sharing a thanksgiving meal, knowing that these people love and care for me more than anyone else on earth. I want comfort in my writing like I have comfort in those situations. I feel as though I know them well, and am well aquainted with them. My writing and I have become distant lately and I miss it. Maybe tonight its coming back. This is the turning point in our relationship.

I missed you, Writing.

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